not having a title is the title

The enemy is sneaky. Let me say it again... the enemy is sneaky! The rat. I had a revelation this weekend. Elevation started a new sermon series called kill switch. To put it in brief, sin is the kill switch in your relationship with God. I took all the info from the sermon in and just listened. Didn't have any revelations, didn't have any hit me in the face moments, didn't have a big AH HAH until this morning drinking my coffee. My sin is worry. My sin is lack of faith. My sin is questioning God's intentions. I know how much God loves me. I know I am his kid and he has the best in mind for me. Yet here I am, again, questioning the circumstances in my life. I keep looking far ahead. I keep questioning. I keep asking why is this happening not what are you teaching. So I've been miserable. My communion with God has been broken and I hated it. I didn't understand why. The enemy has such a way of masking sin you truly don't even recognize it. I lost sight of my purpose. I lost sight of my reason of being here. I'm not here for me. I'm here to worship God. In everything. So what, if I hate my job. Praise God. So what, if some relationships didn't workout the way I wanted. Praise God. So what, if my boss thinks I do nothing right. Praise God. My Savior is the only one I live for. As long as I look at him for my guidance, I'm in the right place. My purpose is the same no matter the circumstances. To bring honor to his name. To praise him. To bring heaven to earth. The kill switch is gone. I'm in full steam ahead!

The Elevation Blog Post today was for me... Here it is... I hope it's for you too!!!
Peace
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3


Not sure what is going on in your world whenever you read this, but this verse brought a lot of comfort to me today. The key truth that gripped my heart was that trusting in the Lord means that my mind is steadfast. That my thoughts rest firmly in the knowledge of who God is and what He has promised. I can’t say I trust in the Lord and then let my thought life be dictated by my circumstances. That is why the Faith Confessions we unveiled recently at Elevation were so powerful. When we focus our attention on Jesus and away from the wind and the waves of our circumstance, we realize the hope that we have in our Savior and the love that the Father has lavished upon us through the cross. In a sermon during our Give.Me.Faith. series, Pastor Steven said that we can always trust that a God who loved us enough to send His Son to die for us always has the best intentions towards us.
And that reality brings peace.

it's good to be home

It is very rare I have weeks that are horrible. The past two weeks have literally been testing. Just crazy. I have never been in the principals office more these past weeks than I have in my entire life. I haven't been enjoying work at all and I have really felt lonely. Just lonely. So, I have been looking at Christ asking, where are you? What is going on? I'm so confused. Well, last night I drove home. Football game, Biscuitville, four wheelers, P.Rae, and family. I love home. It is home. No one truly understands how great home is for me. Some folks didn't have a great upbringing around neighbors who were kin, or on land you could roam. I love my family. I love my land. Today I was up on my mountain, looking in the distance at one of the prettiest views in NC when God reminded me how Great and Good he is. One would think I would have this concept down pat, but I get in funks and attacked by the enemy that He has to remind me of his goodness and power. Up on the mountain I start to feel silly. Yep I am confused but has God ever left me? NO. Has he never had my best interest in mind? NO. Has He blessed me with a family like none other? Yes. I have the best family in the world. Anyone who has ever gotten to know us (I'm including extended family) loves us. God has blessed this family. He has blessed me with allowing me to be a part of this family and carry on my family's name. It's good to be home. It's good to have the home I have! Thank you Lord!

can i go run and never come back

Can I do anything right? I'm in the desert. Stuck. And even out in the middle of nowhere I mess up. I hate it. I do. I really just hate it.

seasonal

My momma has been giving me advice for many years but her latest tidbit of advice came after years of knowing what I needed to do, but never being told. She verbally said out loud what my brain has been saying to myself for many years. Momma said, "Heather, stop. Get out. Just stop." So, I stopped. I got out. I quit. I ceased. I fell off the face of the earth. I put on the brakes. I jumped the wagon. I...(you get the idea).
All to say, now what? NOW WHAT? This can't be end. After all these years. Done. It doesn't make sense to me. Then I think, "God do I even know? Do I truly recognize your voice? Because Lord, it's been 2 years since you spoke this word. At least I think it was you. I don't even know anymore. 2 years of waiting, of wondering, of seasoning. So, was that you? Was that your word, or did I just make it all up? Lord why here? Really? I have been patient. I'm waiting for a revelation. I'm waiting for wisdom as to why here and not there. I like there. Everybody I love is there. My roots are there." Those are the questions on constant playback, on repeat, on continuous play rolling around my brain.
hum.... seasoning. Seasonings are added to food to increase flavor, to add variety, to stimulate the taste buds, to turn something mundane into extraordinary. So Lord, what is the seasoning? Or seasons. I feel like it's winter and everything is dormant. Not dead, but lifeless for a spell. I'm waiting for spring.
That's all I have folks. Nothing of great wisdom, just some ramblings in my brain.

A Wise Woman Once Said...

In tribute to my Maw Maw who turns 84 tomorrow I decided to write a blog in her honor. She is the funniest person I know. I honestly believe as you get older you become more like a child. Older people don't care about what others think. They aren't concerned with upholding a status quo or meeting worldly standards. They say what they think and do what they want. Here are some famous Maw Maw quotes...

"you mean there is more than one cashier at the walmart?"
"ooooooooooooo"
" S... S... S... S..."
"It's just a bite."
"there isn't that much sugar?"
"NEAL!"
"that's not the way Neal does it."
"I'm in the bathroom."
"just roll me down the hall."
"well, she's gonna smother."
"don't loose her in that bag..."
"Wesley, Matt, Kevin, I mean Larry."
"turn that fan off."
"ain't you cold?"
"please. please. please."
"ugh hum"
... think of a good cough right now.. in the middle of supper....
"does my hair look okay in the back?"
"My plate's cold."
after maw maw fell out of her wheel chair and was stuck on the floor for 3 hours she says, "there was a nice breeze coming through the window. I don't know what I would have done if there wasn't that nice breeze."
"well.. i just got stuck on the toilet."
"enough is enough"
"come pull my britches up?"
"you know any news. me neither." 5 minutes later.. "you know anything I don't know? me neither."
"What. You talking about me?"
"I'm scared of q-tips."


You know, this same wise woman can say crazy things, yet is also one heck of a woman. She has endured the life of a farmers wife, the mother of 3, and the difficulties of life altering events. Shes a pillar. She is also one that will listen to the mouth of a frustrated granddaughter and not take offense to the jokes made about her. She is one heck of a role model and one heck of a grandmother.

So I think I have for sure forgot some words of wisdom from this wise lady. Feel free to add!

kind of like i'm stuck in wal*mart

I don't know about the rest of y'all but whenever I go into wal*mart my cell phone reception isn't the greatest. I think its due to all the metal, electronics and other gadgets interfering with the signal. It's just junk getting in the way that makes the phone conversation drop or sound broken.
That happens in my life. I feel like my God reception is hitting the interference. Like I'm stuck in the wal*mart and different things are getting in the way of the signal. But you know its not a hard task to get a clear reception. All I gotta do is step outside. All I gotta do is move. Get out of the wal*mart. Get away from the interference.

My Oh My

Amazing week. All I know is it's been smooth. I have had kids this week! But every time I get a kid I fix them and then I don't have any kids. Which I guess is good, but hey, it makes the day slow. Y'all know I'm volleyball coach! Well, stop thinking what you're thinking. It's fun. The girls are fun. We have a good time! Its amazing how much one can learn, and how much one can do when put into a situation. I feel sometimes other people know me better than I know myself. Its one of those things!

This week I have really been noticing things from a different view. Looking a situations, looking a problems, looking at traffic jams differently. I wish I could explain all that I have seen through a different lens.