2 months

Its almost been 2 months since paw paw died and it still hurts.  I'm not going to fib or sugar coat it.  It hurts.  I randomly start to think about spring strawberry picking or summer corn and i start to cry.  Or I pick up the phone and Paw Paw's number is still listed.  Walk in Maw Maw's and not see him sitting in the recliner.  Or just calling the house phone and not hearing him pick up the phone as soon as I start my message and he knows its not a sales man.  It's hard.  It's still hard.  The question is when will it get easier.  I feel so silly sometimes just suddenly crying.  Out of nowhere tears flow.  Some folks don't understand.  What's wrong with you? they ask.  Why have you been crying?  Heather you should be over that by now.  Well, I'm sorry. I'm not.  Not yet.  I still get upset.  I still cry.  And I still want him back.  That's the truth.