tonight was a hard night. never in my wildest dreams did i think it would be that hard. It would be that difficult to see that face. to walk past that door. to continue down the hall with out one word. what happened? where did that friendship go? where did all the events, talks, and conversations go? why did it stop? is this what it has come to? is this where the story ends? i didn't know what to do, what to say, or where to look. so i said nothing. no complaints, no arguing, no words. just silence. i know this makes no since but that's where I was. BUT... this is the happy part... MY joy is not determined by what happens TO me, but what Christ is doing IN me and THROUGH me. MY JOY. I still have joy. Happiness is a symptom of circumstances. Joy is the product of perspective. No matter what I go through God is still Good and I am still grateful. From where I'm sitting I have a good life. So, was I happy? no. Do I have joy? YES!!! happiness is a feeling and feelings change.. (especially for females about once a month) but my joy is the same.
how could I just walk on by? Not quite sure. Was that the right thing to do? not quite sure on that one either. we'll see what happens. what will come of all this drama?
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