Hard

The hardest thing so far this year in teaching hasn't been the lesson plans, hasn't been the discipline, or even in the instruction.  The hardest thing I have had to do is tell a few of my students they made a 2 on the EOG and have to retake it.  To watch their eyes fill up with tears and just cry.  Cry because they are disappointed.  Cry because they wanted so badly to get a 3 or 4.  Cry because they have worked so hard this year and boom, one test, and it seems to knock them off their feet.  That was hard.  To watch them in pain.  I wanted to take it all away.  I wanted to carry the pain all on my back.  I wanted to say something to make them feel better.  Now I see how my parents feel, or even how Christ feels, when they see me in pain.  When they see me hurt.  They want to take it away.  Somewhere I know the pain is good, but right now... right now it just plain sucks!

CR!

Central America, here I come! Yes, I am going back this summer. I have to say, ever since I left I wanted to go back. Granted, this desire was after I had a hot shower, and a salad, but still I knew I would return. This past year has been crazy. It seems God is speaking to me more, no, let me correct that, I have learned to listen to God. He proabably has spoken to me just as much as in previous years, but now I know his voice. Now I know when HE speaks! Let me summerazie the past few month.
Feb... I apply for a summer counselor job... rejected. I apply to run the paddle boats/ concession stands on the weekend.. rejected. I didn't have the qualifications. I'm sorry but a math teacher can handle money, and watch at group of kids.
March.. I'm in the funk. I was called out by my VP and I evaluated my spot. I was in the dip! (watch elevation dip series and you'll understand).
April.. I called ATC. Momma JOY said come on. At the moment I didn't know how I was going to pay for the trip, pay my summer's rent without any kind of job, and be able to eat in August. Entered contest for a years worth of free rent... thinking this is how God is working it out.. NOPE.. I lost.
MAY>>>Two days after I lost, I found out I only needed to buy a plane ticket! OH>>>> Also in april.. I started to homebound teach a student... extra money.. which is about as much as I need for a plane ticket. A teacher that i prayed about this situation with me.. gave me support money, which finished the amount needed for a plane ticket!

So.. it's 2.5 weeks in July. I have been praying for the girls. I have been praying for God to use me.. I have been praying for wisdom, and I ask you pray for me too!

OH.. FYI God is still working in other areas too. One day I'll be able to write a book about this road. or be on Oprah! (and oprah could use some JESUS!)

What not Why

Last night I was confused.  I know.. I know... It doesn't take much, but I was honestly confused about an event happening in my life.  So instead of saying God why are you doing this?  Why does it not ever seem to workout, why do you tell me one thing and it seems like it doesn't happen? I asked what.  It was something Pastor Furtick preached on a while back.  When God puts a situation in our lives we are often to say WHY, but what we need to say is WHAT.  So, I said instead God what are you teaching me?  What do you want me to learn?  How do I get through this while you teach me? Do you know what?  I asked and he answered.  He is teaching me to hold fast to what he has told me.  When God gives me worlds of knowledge they don't always appear as if those words are going to happen based on current situations.  God is teaching me to trust in what He has said to me and continue to believe in the word of knowledge he has given.  So, it's not why but what!